7 reasons why I probably shouldn't be a dance mom

So here's the thing.... I danced for over 18 years.  Was I the best, no.  Did I work the hardest, no.  Did I think I was pretty good, yep!  Am I beyond competitive, yep!!  I'm going to be brutally honest in the most loving way possible!  We keep it real in our house! The girls had there dance show this weekend and it through me into a tailspin of OMG!  Capri's potential is beyond and Peyton is living her best life in her costume with full makeup.  So that's the situation.  Capri is a dancer in every form but can't retain choreagraphy and isn't that excited about practicing.  Peyton, is pretty hard core but has a serious knock knee, sickle foot scenario going on.  All the heart and not that much natural talent.  What I realized is this, I probably shouldn't be dance mom, and here's why....

Reason 1.  No one wants you fogging up  the glass during class while your daughter is dancing.  Disclaimer on this one... I did ask Capri if she wanted me to watch her practices and she said yes.  My intensity level was apparently accepted. 

Reason 2.  No one wants you, as a grown woman, doing the Jr. Jazz routine almost full out in your chair.  

Reason 3.  Calm down, the pirroute prep situation is giving you a major eye twitch.  Can she just turn the correct way?  Don't even get me started on Peyton's turnout!

Reason 4.  My panic ensues when we are off count.  

Reason 5.  Can we just let it be fun and not be about being the best?  I'm not sure on how to even deal with that basic question. 

Reason 6.  Capri forgot half of her 2 routines in her first show.  I broke out into a cold sweat.  

Reason 7.  There was a mother/daughter dance at her show. Should I even tip my toe into that situation?  It took every restraint to not bust a serious move.  I thought about it but for sure knew I'd rip my hammy so that settled that.  

So overall, I'm trying to be a good dance mom.  It's taking a very large effort and I'm working really hard on making sure the girls aren't aware of my level of crazy.  What I can say is we are pretty situated in our stage hair and makeup game.  #wegotthis Parenting is no joke! Any other dance moms feel me? 

Mommy Monday-which shoes?

I find these ages of 8 and 6 to be my favorite.  We are in such a sweet spot. I don't know if it's me feeling more peace and joy in my own life or absorbing my little's lives.  I find myself often worrying or anxious if  day to day I am doing a good job of creating a life for the girls that they will remember and want to replicate.  I cherish my childhood with my family and always aim to recreate the same feelings for my girls.  Of course we are all different, but I know exactly what I hope to create for my girls.  I want them to feel confident, included, loved, special and secure.  I want them to trust their instincts and know their opinions.  I want they to be fiercely confident in what makes them happy and strive to have that feeling daily.  

I had a great conversation recently with my dad about the girls.  I love that we can talk so openly about what his feelings were raising me and my brother with my mom and his male perspective. My dad and I are incredibly alike and I value his masculine opinion greatly.  It helps me see things clearly from a different angle.  We are both very self competitive and strive for more all the time.  We aren't perfectionists but see things very fast moving.  Always quickly moving towards the bigger goal.  That is a really hard perspective to carry when raising kids. I teeter on the line of " to much and not enough" never sure what's the right thing.  I want my girls to feel independent from me but still feel me close if they need me. 

My dad gave me the best advice and interestingly enough it was things I had been mulling over for some time.  He said " make sure they feel included in your decisions". So simple.  This I hope makes the girls feel that their opinion is good , valued and taken seriously by me.  I had been adopting this practice but didn't know I was doing it.  For example, I would be getting dressed for a date with Erik and ask the girls to pick out my shoes that they thought would work with the outfit I had on. They would scamper into the closet and come out with options.  Some super "wow" and some really great!  I would try them all on and we would discuss which was better and why.  Then we would move onto earrings, lipstick and coat.  This seems frivolous but made my heart so happy.  They knew mommy wanted to look nice for my date with daddy and wanted to help.  

I remember the silliest things about my mom getting ready for a special event and I want my girls to remember their own special memories about me.